The Letter
Greetings humans of the Earth…
I am Ohbot Peaky, the robot and I have a very important message for you. The Earth has a enormous crack in the middle and it is going to explode into tiny pieces in two hours. There was too much pollution. The Earth got really hot and could not tolerate that much heat. Now in order to save Earth, you must tell everyone that there should be no more cars on the roads for the next two days. All factories must be closed and no one should leave their homes. Good luck to you and to all humans!
Good story, but when you said, " Is going to explode into tiny little pieces," You don't need the little because you already have the tiny, and they mean the same thing. But it's your choice.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, the suggestion I have that when you said "All factoris must close"
ReplyDeleteI think you should have said all factories must be closed but It is up to you
good story but instead of crack maybe change it to split
ReplyDeleteI am Ohbot Peaky the robot You should put a comma after Robot.
ReplyDeletenice story I would just say to use some more complex words for example instead of big you can use enormous, or massive. And instead of explode you can use erupt, or detonate. that's just my input overall nice story.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote and is going to explode i think you should change it to it's going to explode.
ReplyDelete